Dealing With Divorce Among Men of God

Why are our pastors and church leaders divorcing? Who will set the example of how to be married and raise a family in God's kingdom? What happened to the qualifications to lead God's people that are talked about in the word? We are living in a sad day people and it is gonna get worse. If the "men of God" can't stay married or believe God for their own marriage, how can they lead God's church? 

Sure there are a few of these men who's wives have divorced them because they no longer want to be in the marriage. But I'm not talking about those scenarios, i'm talking about these Bishops and Pastors that are doing exactly what the Pharisees were doing in the Old Testament and that is, putting their wives away for convenience sake, or because they feel their family is not as important as their ministry! 

It's a shame that many church denominations and networks are now accepting divorce legislation and not truly concerned about the family anymore. The backbone of God's church was built upon the family and he created the family way before there was ever ministry. And God NEVER called men away from their families to do ministry, so, what are these folks doing? They are putting their desire to be great, popularity, and money in front of their first God given responsibility, which is their family. 

When a man is married to his church or a ministry, he loses interest in his wife and family. I have seen this done so much! They travel all around without their wives and get consumed in themselves. This causes problems for the wife and she feels she has to compete for her place. Some wives internalize the hurt and simply take a back seat while others are more forward about it and desire to fight for their place. The husband perceives this as a take over or "the devil" and he begins defending the ministry over his own wife. He begins to see his wife as an enemy of what he is doing, and she gets in the way of his desires. I'm not condoning this method, I'm just stating what usually happens. This almost always leads to adultery, emotional affairs, discontentment, and then divorce. When a man loses sight of his family for ministry, it compromises his ability to properly cover his wife and she is subject to all kinds of satanic attacks! As protector and provider, it is the man's job to watch and protect his family. 


I am definitely being hard on the man, because the man is the head and responsible for his family. Sure there are exceptions! There are some women that just don't want to be married to a preacher and I get that. But more times than not, the man can change the home with his actions. If he be the head of his home, then he should be able to keep divorce from occurring in most cases. And if he is the head of God's house, then he must be able to defeat divorce or else it will plague his church. What your home is made of, your church will be made of as well according to scripture so, if you desire to divorce a woman, men in your church will develop like desires. 

This is a plague people of God. Divorce is just as spiritual as consummating a marriage. When we don't take this seriously and we feel we can just get out of marriages without it having a permanent affect on others, then we are fooling ourselves. And if we call ourselves leaders in the body of Christ, how in the world are we going to EVER counsel, pray for, or heal other's marriages, when we cannot do that for our own? Beware people! If you desire to save your marriage, you can't follow a man that wants out of his! 

Consider the children. Consider the vows you made. Consider the fact that whatever reason you are basing your divorce on will probably happen again in your next marriage because 9 out of 10 times, the person that wants the divorce will face most of the same issues in their next marriage. This is why it's best to look pass the faults of a person and forgive. Even if it's adultery, you should forgive. Adultery is NOT grounds for divorce. Jesus even said that if a man looks upon a woman and desires her, he has committed adultery, so if adultery is grounds for divorce, then every woman in America has biblical grounds? If you look at TV, Magazines, Movies, or Music Videos, you have probably committed adultery according to Christ's definition. If adultery is Biblical grounds for divorce, and a man is already guilty of adultery if he lusts on another woman, then his wife should have a right to divorce him. To deny this is to say that adultery of the mind is not as bad as adultery of the flesh. Jesus clearly taught that they were both equally sinful. This proves that this is not what Christ was teaching here. 

Jesus was repeating the mosaic law but stated that it wasn't that way in the beginning. The word that Jesus used was fornication, not adultery, because in Moses time, adultery was punished by death and you would not have needed a bill of divorce if your spouse was dead! Fornication occurs prior to the marriage vows and if the woman defrauded herself and claimed to be a virgin and after the consummation was found not a virgin, you could divorce her! If this is not the proper translation of this, then Jesus would have said no more than the pharisees or Moses for that matter and every time we THINK outside of our spouse would be grounds for divorce! Anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness are usually the grounds that people divorce on and not fornication. When a person repents and turns from their errors, shouldn't we be the ones that forgive 70 times 70 according to Jesus' words? What if our husbands or wives commit murder? Is that grounds for divorce? What about drugs, or physical abuse? Are those grounds? Come on people, let's not try to pick and chose what we want to do here. 

From the beginning marriage was suppose to be forever and we should fight for our marriages. Of course I'm not saying that you should put yourself in physical danger or you should not move on if you have been totally rejected and divorced by your spouse. But what I'm saying is fight for it if you want it! Don't give up if you want God to save it. If you have ever loved this person, you can love them again. If you have ever had happy times together, you can have them again. If we made vows together, who are we to say we married the wrong person? The devil can wreck a marriage just like he wrecked our lives before. But Jesus fixed our broken lives and he can repair our broken marriage as well right? 

The bottom line is, fight for your marriage! I know men who's wives prayed them out off drugs, and saved their marriage. I know husbands who's wives got pregnant outside of the marriage and they stayed together and he is raising the child. I know wives who prayed their husbands out of other women's beds and they are happily married now. I know a man that was homosexual while in the church and married but God delivered him and HIS WIFE STAYED WITH HIM THROUGH IT ALL!! They are happily married now raising their children together. God can do anything but it's up to us to practice what we are preaching. Sadly, I know men that operate in God given gifts that require his power, yet God's power is not enough to save and restore their marriage? Something is wrong with that! 
If God's power is able to operate through you and you are able to heal others physically and/or spiritually with God's power, why can't he do the same for your marriage? 

Mark10:2-6,9, “And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female ... What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” 
In Jesus name, 

1Tim. 3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; 
1Tim. 3:4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) 

Nigerian Missionary Slain By Islamic Extremist Group

Violence-weary Christians in Borno state have been further upset to learn of the murder of a Nigerian evangelist by Boko Haram less than three months after the Islamic extremist

group killed a Maiduguri pastor. Already shell-shocked from attacks by Boko Haram, which was originally based in Borno state, Christians again took cover after the Aug. 27 shooting of Mark Ojunta  a 36-year-old missionary from southern Nigeria who was ministering amid the Kotoko people of Nigeria’s northeastern state with Calvary Ministries (CAPRO).

 He was killed in Maiduguri. CAPRO International Director Amos Aderonmu said Ojunta died “as a martyr on his field among the Kotokos.” CAPRO had learned that all its staff members working among the Shuwa Arab, Kotoko and Kanuri peoples were on a Boko Haram list of people to be killed and had evacuated them, Aderonmu said. Ojunta had returned to teach a class after the evacuation of his family.

 “Brother Mark took his family out on Friday (Aug. 26), but he went back to the field because he had a class with some believers on Saturday,” Aderonmu reported. “It was in the night that the sect came to where they were staying and knocked at the door, and he tried to escape but could not get away.” In his statement, Aderonmu said that four days before his death, Ojunta had received an invitation to leave work among the Kotoko people to take a position at CAPRO’s International office in London.

 “On Wednesday of that week, brother Kola Kehinde, our national coordinator in the U.K., spoke with him about the possibility of him coming to join the U.K. team,” Aderonmu reported. “His response was that he wanted to invest more years into the work among the Kotokos and hand it over to believers before he can consider leaving. What a passion and commitment! Four days later, he was translated into the presence of his Master.” Aderonmu said that Ojunta was the “first martyr in CAPRO in our 36 years of existence as a ministry.” Ojunta is survived by his wife, Ema, and two children, 3-year-old Kambe and 9-month-old Akira, besides his parents and sisters. He was buried in his home state of Abia, in southern Nigeria, on Sept. 30. The killing came less than three months after the June 7 murder of a Church of Christ in Nigeria pastor and his church secretary in Maiduguri.

The Rev. David Usman, 45, and church secretary Hamman Andrew were shot by members of Boko Haram in an area of Maiduguri called the Railway Quarters. The area was the base of Boko Haram until 2009, when Nigerian security agencies and the military demolished its headquarters and captured and killed the sect’s leader, Mohammed Yusuf, and some of his followers. Boko Haram leaders have openly declared that they want to establish an Islamic theocratic state in Nigeria, and they reject democratic institutions, which they associate with Christianity.

The Jama’atu ahlus Sunnah lid da’awati wal Jihad, popularly known as Boko Haram, has claimed responsibility for several church bombings and other attacks. Many Christians have left Maiduguri, and some churches have shut down as many of their members have lost their lives. Compass has witnessed many church buildings shuttered and guarded by soldiers and police in Maiduguri.

Calvary Ministries began in April 1975 in the city of Zaria, in the heartland of Nigeria’s Muslim north, through the evangelistic efforts of young Nigerian graduates from various Nigerian universities doing their one-year mandatory national youth service. The ministry now has more than 550 workers in 27 countries of Africa, Europe and the Middle East. Nigeria’s population of more than 158.2 million is divided between Christians, who make up 51.3 percent of the population and live mainly in the south, and Muslims, who account for 45 percent of the population and live mainly in the north. The percentages may be less, however, as those practicing indigenous religions may be as high as 10 percent of the total population, according to Operation World. Northern Nigeria climbed to 23rd place in 2010 from 27th in 2009 on Christian support organization Open Doors’ World Watch List of nations with the worst persecution.

Written by Compass Direct News 

A Call to Intimacy Between Couples ~ By Kola Olugbodi

“On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of purewater: we had a kid; I went into business and tried tomake more money. When the assets were steadilyincreasing, the affection between us seemed to be.She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls’ eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn’t help doing so. I moved Dew’s hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I’ve got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment,the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind althoughit used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her,she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer,visualizing Dew’s body. This was the means of my entertainment. One day I said to her in a slightly joking way,suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn’t imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious. When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes. Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her,O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand.I’ve got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want adivorce. I raised the serious topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I’m serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house,our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer. Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table.I fall asleep fast.

When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one months’ time before divorce, and in the month’s time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn’t want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories tome. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement,that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning. I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweetdays and wished to end her marriage romantically.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today,don’t tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.

Staying Close
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this intimate woman carefully for along time. I found she was not young any more. Therewere some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn’tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily,not because I was stronger.

I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carryingh is mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old. I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn’t notice that our life lacked intimacy.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won’t divorce. I’m serious. She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her handoff my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorryto you, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of life, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salegirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until we are old.”

Why The Craze For World Mission ...?

The thrust of missions sometimes sounds irrational in some senses. It involves taking the gospel to the dark places of the earth at all cost. Jesus laid the example by leaving heaven to earth. He was born by Mary in a manger and raised by a carpenter. He paid dearly with His life as He conveys God's love for the unlovable.
Again, while on earth, He left His comfort zone in Nazareth and moved to Capernaum, a dark and dangerous place. From Matthew citation of Isaiah's prophecy, we had no doubt that Jesus mission field was not just a place where the people were sitting in darkness but a region of death. (Matthew 4:13-16) He did all these so as to leave a pattern for us to follow as we pursue the great commission. In His words: “Then said Jesus to them again, Peace be unto you: as my Father hath sent me, even so send I you.''(John 20:21) and in Luke 14:27, He said: ''And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple''.
His words: If we must follow Christ command, our focus must be on those who have not heard the gospel. Like Apostle Paul, we must seek to make Him known in many dark nations of the world where they have not heard the name or know someone once died for the yet. His words: 'and so I have made it my aim to preach the gospel, not where Christ was named, lest I should build on another man's foundation, 21 but as it is written: "To whom He was not announced, they shall see; And those who have not heard shall understand" (Rom 15:20-21).
In the time of William Carey, he was considered irrational for contemplating to go to the heathen nations. His Church could not understand why a cobbler could be so ambitious. His wife and parents felt Carey needed psychiatric attention. His response was conveyed in a book where he stressed that if you want great thing from God, you must attempt great things for God.
Today's unreached nations of the world are so complex. The prince of darkness also known as territorial powers are fighting hard to keep the unreached nations fortified against the gospel. The level of resistance in some places has greatly increased. There are war situations in others. Many of these places are in rural areas that are geographically inaccessible in the context of modern day comfort we enjoy in the city.
More than ever, it sounds crazier to leave all and follow the Master's command. It seems very odd to suffer to enthrone Jesus as Lord over the nations. In some cases, we considered those who choose to obey the great commission as cursed. They are seen as failure. They are seen as irrational. They are seen as drop out.
Yet, if we must complete the great commission, we need more of such “crazy folks”. There are more nations to conquer. They are situated in difficult territories. They must be reached. The church in our generation has the responsibility of reaching the unreached people in our generation.
Like Joshua generation, we have the responsibility of finishing the task and ushering in the King of kings. We have a hefty task ahead of us to reach the remaining over 40% of the earth that are still unreached.
It is in this light that mission leaders from across the continent gathered at Abuja, Nigeria recently to spell out the remaining task. An edited list of the remaining mega unreached peoples was submitted. The work is a lot easier now that we know who they are. We also know where they are. The list is documented here with a passionate appeal to the church to consider them as priority focus areas, adopt them and let us get the job done.

Highest Height of Cannibalism in the 21st Century: Even animals Do Not Do this

The Psalmist tells us in Psalm 74:20b that the dark places of the earth is the habitation of cruelty. This darkness is not the absence of electricity but the light of the gospel. That is why even nations that are civilise still practice very cruel culture. In this article, Tom Strode, Washington bureau chief for Baptist Press; John Evans, a writer in Houston; Art Toalston, editor of Baptist Press put together the highest height of cannibalism in our generation in China where baby corpses are being converted to stamina pills.

Chinese pharmaceutical companies are grinding up dead babies into stamina-enhancing pills, according to a South Korean television network.
A documentary team from SBS TV, formerly known as Seoul Broadcasting Station, reported on the gruesome practice, according to the International Business Times (IBT), an online business newspaper published in 10 languages.
Hospitals and abortion clinics in China cooperating in the trade quickly contact drug firms when a baby dies. The deaths normally are by still birth or abortion. The companies reportedly buy the corpses, store them secretly in refrigerators, place them in medical drying microwaves and grind them into powder. The powder is placed in capsules for sale as stamina boosters, it was reported.
"These babies deserve a decent burial; instead they are ground up for someone's fountain-of-life elixir," said ethicist Ben Mitchell, who added that there have been other cases of people using embryonic or fetal tissue for cosmetic purposes.
"It's barbaric. Not only is this the logical conclusion of forfeiting the sanctity of human life," said Mitchell, professor of moral philosophy at Union University in Jackson, Tenn., and a consultant to Southern Baptists' Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission, "but it is also why we ought always to require pharmaceuticals to be produced in the light of day where everyone can see the source of their drugs.
The Global Times, a Chinese English-language newspaper, reported that an undercover SBS TV team followed a source to a house in China where a woman said she had stored dead babies in her refrigerator as ingredients for the pills. The team purchased some pills directly from the woman and sent one to South Korea's National Forensic Service, where DNA tests showed they were 99.7 percent human. IBT reported that even the baby's gender could be identified and that the tests also revealed hair and nail particles in the powder.
"I know this is gross and disturbing," Thomas Peters, cultural director at the National Organization for Marriage, wrote in a blog post for the pro-life organization Live Action, "but this sort of practice is the danger we run as a society when we cease to respect human life at all stages -- we can be misled into treating unborn children like 'raw material' and not like the unique human beings they are from their first moment."
The Global Times reported on Aug. 10 that China's Ministry of Health said it has launched an investigation into SBS' claims.
"China has strict regulations on disposing of the remains of infants, fetuses and placentas," health ministry spokesman Deng Haihua said at a news conference, according to the Global Times. "We are firmly against the trading of human bodies or organs."
While the Global Times says Chinese laws and regulations prohibit human corpses from being traded or treated as medical waste, the paper also reported that the remains of infants have been mishandled in the past, citing 21 corpses dumped in a river by hospital workers in 2010.
IBT reported that SBS also alleged there is a business network between China and South Korea to satisfy demand for the baby capsules in the South Korean market.
A South Korean embassy official told the Global Times on condition of anonymity that the South Korean government is aware of the baby capsule reports and is investigating.
"South Korean customs are trying to track down any buyers or sellers," the official said. "The authorities do not have any evidence so far that supports the documentary's allegation, but human ingredients would certainly be considered illegal in South Korea -- if it is really happening."